when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.