I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.