Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.