sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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fap

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.