DIY LOL
Anti Joke
Candidate Equals
Clarksonisms
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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".
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-94
Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.
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-46
Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.
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-9
When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".
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+27
Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.
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-87
When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.
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-53
After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.
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-33
In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.
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-35
I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.
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-43
fap
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-51
When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.
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-43
When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.
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-64
When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"
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-27
Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.
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+4
pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out
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+1,575
Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half
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-17
Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.
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-53
when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'
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-73
I'm really picky about how I earn money
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-58
Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.
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+797
I refuse to forward chain letters
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-32
I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.
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+461
avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big
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-70
I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.
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-50
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.