Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -15

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -55

wonder who wrote these things

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

thumb_up thumb_down

Running round the house like I'm Lara croft or someone from a video game :D it's fun

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

KICK THE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.