Smoking in the shower.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.