I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Say what even when u heard someone

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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blink

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Eat ice by itself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.