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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.