I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Tried to suck ur own penis

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.