make south park refferences every day

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.