When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

listen to madonnas new album

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.