If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.