I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.