I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

I think about other women when having sex

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

Look at my poo before I flush it.

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.