I wonder why people were happy after the last election

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Having gay sex

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.