When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -149

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Having gay sex

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Eating chicken at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

listen to madonnas new album

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.