I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Having gay sex

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.