Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.