When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

thumb_up thumb_down -26

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -36

listen to madonnas new album

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -42

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.