If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.