I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.