Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.