I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Boinked my neighbor

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.