See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.