thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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check shower for murder then pee

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Boinked my neighbor

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.