I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.