I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Play as both sides on fifa

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

I chew around the center of carrots.

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.