thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Vote for the other guy

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.