Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Think about breathing...

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.