Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I think about other women when having sex

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.