Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.