Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.