When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I never feel bored

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.