After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I push the door open with my stomach

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.