I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Vote for the other guy

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look at bins as i walk past them

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.