Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.