Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I think about other women when having sex

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Vote for the other guy

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.