When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I think about other women when having sex

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Vote for the other guy

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.