I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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I piss in the bed every night

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Pee in the shower

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.