i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.