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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.
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-51
I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.
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-55
Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.
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-63
Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.
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-77
I chew around the center of carrots.
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-87
Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.
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-91
my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000
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-6
spank it during my commute if I am in traffic
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-6
Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird
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-6
I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.
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-18
See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?
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-32
check shower for murder then pee
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-32
Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.
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-36
use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.
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-36
My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...
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-40
Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!
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-40
I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?
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-42
I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.
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-42
When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.
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-48
Brake for tail-gaters
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-54
Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them
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-60
I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god
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-62
I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.
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-66
When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.
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-70
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.