Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.