scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.