Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.