Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.