Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.