I **** with no hands.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.