My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I push the door open with my stomach

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.