Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Look at my poop before flushing

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

Pretend animals talk to you!

Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.