scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.