Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.