sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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speak proper english

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.