Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Pee in the shower

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.