Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.