When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.