I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.