when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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humiliating little girls

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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My parents are annoying.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.