when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

k. everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.