Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.