When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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listen to madonnas new album

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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My parents are annoying.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.