Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.