If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.