Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -108

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -19

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -31

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.