Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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humiliating little girls

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.