Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.