Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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k. everyone

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.