I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Having gay sex

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.