Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.