Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.