Having gay sex

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I never feel bored

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.