When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Having gay sex

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.