Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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My parents are annoying.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Having gay sex

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.