pee when you are dreaming haha lol

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

Brake for tail-gaters

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.