When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.