Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Sometimes I toot.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.