I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.