When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Having gay sex

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.