Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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humiliating little girls

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.