Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.