strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I think about other women when having sex

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.