You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Poo really loud

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Think about breathing...

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.