When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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blink

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.