- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Brake for tail-gaters

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.