Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

thumb_up thumb_down -10

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -26

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

humiliating little girls

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.