think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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blink

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.