when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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listen to madonnas new album

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.