Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Look at my poo before I flush it.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

Poo really loud

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Take off the ends of the banana (

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.