When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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make south park refferences every day

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.