sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.