Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.