After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

blink

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.