Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.