Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.