- Things You Think Only You Do

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.