OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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My parents are annoying.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Mayada stupid

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.