Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.