I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I read the down voted posts

thumb_up thumb_down -30

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Videotape my mother in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.