The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.