pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -5

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Pretend i'm a sim.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.