I used to eat bath bubbles

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.