When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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humiliating little girls

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.