- Things You Think Only You Do

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

Videotape my mother in the shower.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.