recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.