- Things You Think Only You Do

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.