- Things You Think Only You Do

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

Tear up when I poop

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I read the down voted posts

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.