- Things You Think Only You Do

Feels my beard with my tongue.

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.