When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.