Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.