I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -1

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -11

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -13

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.