i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I read the down voted posts

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.