Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

I can only play a piano with my right hand

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

fall asleep in the shower.

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.