When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.