Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.