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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

I don't read the terms of service.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Courtesy flush.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.