When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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I was the real Stig...

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.