Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.