Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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I was the real Stig...

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.