- Things You Think Only You Do

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.