Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Tear up when I poop

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I read the down voted posts

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.