I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.