Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.