I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.