I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.