When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.