When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.