Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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I was the real Stig...

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.