Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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k. everyone

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.