- Things You Think Only You Do

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....fap fap fap"

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.