Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -109

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.