I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.