Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Sometimes I toot.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I mean Diana Ross.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.