- Things You Think Only You Do

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

I piss in the bed every night

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.