I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.