When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.