I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

I piss in the bed every night

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

Use my phone to see what time it is

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

Save more than once on your favourite game.

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.