trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I gotta get down of Friday

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.