Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

make south park refferences every day

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.