When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.