When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.