trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.