When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

blink

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.