Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.