rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.