Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I Masturbate Daily.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.