Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

test how many stares you can scale in one step

thumb_up thumb_down -44

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

thumb_up thumb_down -48

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -58

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -58

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.