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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open
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-56
use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower
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-56
Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out
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-58
I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?
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-60
Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.
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-60
When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move
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-60
When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.
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-62
When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.
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-68
Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.
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-68
Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.
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-70
Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club
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-72
Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.
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-72
when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.
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-72
Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.
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-72
What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.
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-74
when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go
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-76
When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"
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-84
I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.
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-130
Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.
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+45
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+37
When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.
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+27
When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.
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+23
Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.
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+23
Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv
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+19
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.