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Things You Think Only You Do
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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol
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-40
I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".
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-40
have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?
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-40
Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.
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-40
Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things
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-44
Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.
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-48
Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.
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-48
When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.
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-54
Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.
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-56
send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.
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-58
sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.
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-62
Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.
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-64
Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.
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-70
I can't piss with my shoes on.
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-72
that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?
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-76
Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted
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-76
Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.
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-76
Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.
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-78
I gotta get down of Friday
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-80
Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.
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-88
Put my hands together the 'other' way
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-96
as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT
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-114
Make up a song to yourself.
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-156
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+35
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.