I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Be a loner at school

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.