If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.