Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.