- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Poo really loud

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

Boinked my neighbor

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.