Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.