Stab myself on a daily basis

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

try to give your friends spirit animals

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.