When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.