How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Tear up when I poop

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.