Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -21

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -45

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Poo really loud

thumb_up thumb_down -51

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.