Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Poo really loud

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.