recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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make south park refferences every day

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.