When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.