Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Mayada stupid

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Sometimes I toot.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Tear up when I poop

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.