try to give your friends spirit animals

thumb_up thumb_down -63

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +28

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.