When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.