- Things You Think Only You Do

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Videotape my mother in the shower.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Only use the left earphone.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Being fat

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.