have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.