Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Courtesy flush.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.