I gotta get down of Friday

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.