brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

thumb_up thumb_down -15

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

thumb_up thumb_down -19

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I can only play a piano with my right hand

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.