I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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make south park refferences every day

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.