- Things You Think Only You Do

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

I rehearse arguments in my head.

when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.