I mean Diana Ross.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.