I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.