When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.