expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Courtesy flush.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

make south park refferences every day

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

I was not born in the country I am living in now

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

Go for a 10 mile run.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.