I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.