When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I was the real Stig...

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.