Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.