Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.