When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.