Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.