Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.