I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I lift my butt when I'm farting

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.