I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.