I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -45

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -85

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.