getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.