- Things You Think Only You Do

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

Poo really loud

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.