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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.