Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Poo really loud

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.