Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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make south park refferences every day

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.