I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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listen to madonnas new album

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.