When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Courtesy flush.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I was the real Stig...

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Make up a song to yourself.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.