I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Courtesy flush.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.