wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.