Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.