Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.