I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.