Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Only use the left earphone.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being fat

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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make south park refferences every day

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I have a phobia of incest

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.