When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I hit the frig after sex

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.