I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I read the down voted posts

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.