Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.