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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.