shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I read the down voted posts

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.