When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.