Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.