When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.