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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?
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-113
Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.
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+40
.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.
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+34
Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.
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+32
When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.
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+28
Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.
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+26
Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks
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+24
A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)
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+20
Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.
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+18
You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.
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+12
When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.
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+8
Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."
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+6
Use my phone to see what time it is
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+6
not be afraid of hurricane sandy
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+4
Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.
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+4
When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.
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+2
I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds
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+2
Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.
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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.
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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.
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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is
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-2
Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!
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-2
Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp
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-2
I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.
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-8
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.