I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I chew my ice cream.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.