I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.