Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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listen to madonnas new album

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Poo really loud

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.