- Things You Think Only You Do

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

I think Frozen is an overrated film

Poo really loud

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.