Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.