after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.