I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Ur mum

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.