- Things You Think Only You Do

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Poo really loud

I lift my butt when I'm farting

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Boinked my neighbor

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.