Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.