I don't read the terms of service.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

make south park refferences every day

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.