- Things You Think Only You Do

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.