Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Do somthing only you do

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.