It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.