Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.