like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Tear up when I poop

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.