Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Courtesy flush.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

make south park refferences every day

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.