Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Courtesy flush.

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k. everyone

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Boinked my neighbor

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.