I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Sometimes I toot.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.