acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Ur mum

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.