- Things You Think Only You Do

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.