- Things You Think Only You Do

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

listen to madonnas new album

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.