- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Courtesy flush.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.