Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I was the real Stig...

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.