Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.