Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.