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Parent Failure
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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts
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-39
Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything
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-39
Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.
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-41
wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings
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-43
Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.
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-43
When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.
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-43
I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)
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-47
not eating the ends of a hotdog.
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-47
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake
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-49
At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.
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-49
I rehearse arguments in my head.
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-53
Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers
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-53
Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.
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-53
When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public
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-55
I Masturbate Daily.
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-55
Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die
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-57
Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate
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-61
i masturbate with my feet
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-61
I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.
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-63
Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos
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-63
I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap
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-65
YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!
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-67
Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night
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-67
check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S
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-75
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.