Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.