when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I don't read the terms of service.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

fap

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.