- Things You Think Only You Do

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Feels my beard with my tongue.

I wonder if elections are rigged?

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

I used to eat bath bubbles

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.