What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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I chew my ice cream.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.