Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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make south park refferences every day

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.