I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I piss in the bed every night

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.