If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.