What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.