When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.