Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Use my phone to see what time it is

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

I scratch and sniff.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.