It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Be a loner at school

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.