When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.