I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.