Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.