I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.