- Things You Think Only You Do

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Sometimes I toot.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

Try stick to something but fail in the end

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

I mean Diana Ross.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.