What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.