Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +34

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +6

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

thumb_up thumb_down

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

thumb_up thumb_down

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.