What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

I chew my ice cream.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.