If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Sitting down in the shower

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.