- Things You Think Only You Do

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.