Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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I don't read the terms of service.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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fap

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.