Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.