when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.