When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

Ur mum

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.