No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.