poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Only use the left earphone.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Being fat

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.