When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.