I cant ride a bike

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.