Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -43

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -43

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.