Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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I Masturbate Daily.

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k. everyone

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.