after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.