Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Ur mum

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.