brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.