Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Courtesy flush.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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fap

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.