I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Only use the left earphone.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Being fat

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.