I think Frozen is an overrated film

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.