Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Courtesy flush.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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k. everyone

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.