I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I read the down voted posts

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.