When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.