When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.