fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

I don't read the terms of service.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

I cant ride a bike

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.