Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.