I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

I can only play a piano with my right hand

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I read the down voted posts

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

I don't read the terms of service.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.