fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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I cant ride a bike

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.