- Things You Think Only You Do

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

only read the short jokes on this website

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.