Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.