I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I have a phobia of incest

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.