turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Ur mum

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Courtesy flush.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.