When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.