When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.