- Things You Think Only You Do

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.