I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.