Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Ur mum

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.