listen to madonnas new album

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.