I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

thumb_up thumb_down -24

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -36

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -38

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.