- Things You Think Only You Do

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Being fat

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

I **** with no hands.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I gotta get down of Friday

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.