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Clarksonisms
I AM DISAPPOINT
Objectiface
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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.
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-22
I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.
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-24
sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake
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-24
get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.
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-24
Justin Beiber is a woman
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-30
Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.
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-30
When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.
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-30
When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.
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-32
Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.
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-32
I talk to inanimate objects daily.
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-32
I cant ride a bike
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-34
when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.
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-34
I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear
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-36
only read the short jokes on this website
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-38
have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?
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-40
Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?
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-40
I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.
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-40
turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again
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-40
If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!
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-42
see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol
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-42
I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek
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-44
I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.
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-44
after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too
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-44
I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot
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-46
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.