- Things You Think Only You Do

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

only read the short jokes on this website

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

I think Frozen is an overrated film

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.