I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.