Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.