I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes I toot.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.