Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -40

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -46

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -60

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.