Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I have a phobia of incest

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.