Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.