If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Tear up when I poop

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.