Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I **** with no hands.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.