Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

thumb_up thumb_down -32

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Smoking in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.