Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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I hit the frig after sex

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Sometimes I toot.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.