- Things You Think Only You Do

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.