I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.