Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.