Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

only read the short jokes on this website

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Smoking in the shower.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Ur mum

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.