- Things You Think Only You Do

only read the short jokes on this website

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.