get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I read the down voted posts

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.