Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

I hit the frig after sex

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I mean Diana Ross.

Sometimes I toot.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.