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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Thinking your life is a movie...

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.