When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Being fat

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Sitting down in the shower

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I **** with no hands.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.