- Things You Think Only You Do

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

I don't read the terms of service.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

I lift my butt when I'm farting

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.