Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.