Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Make up a song to yourself.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.