I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.