I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I can only play a piano with my right hand

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.