When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Being fat

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Sitting down in the shower

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

I **** with no hands.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Put my hands together the 'other' way

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.