- Things You Think Only You Do

I don't read the terms of service.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.