- Things You Think Only You Do

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.