Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.