Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

I was the real Stig...

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.