I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.