Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -19

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I wonder if elections are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

thumb_up thumb_down -21

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.