When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.