When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.