Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.