I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.