When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.