- Things You Think Only You Do

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

only read the short jokes on this website

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.