scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.