play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.