- Things You Think Only You Do

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

I hit the frig after sex

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.