like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.