I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Sometimes I toot.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I mean Diana Ross.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.