Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Courtesy flush.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.