The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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I hit the frig after sex

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.