When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.