(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I have a phobia of incest

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.