- Things You Think Only You Do

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.