When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.