- Things You Think Only You Do

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.