- Things You Think Only You Do

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

get a new to you car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.