When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

fap

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Only use the left earphone.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Sitting down in the shower

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

try to give your friends spirit animals

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Thinking your life is a movie...

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.