Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Picking my nose.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Sitting down in the shower

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.