Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.