after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.