- Things You Think Only You Do

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Stab myself on a daily basis

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

I chew my ice cream.

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.