- Things You Think Only You Do

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

Sometimes I toot.

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.