turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.