When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Ur mum

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.