Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.