When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.