Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Make up a song to yourself.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.