Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Sitting down in the shower

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.