Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I scratch and sniff.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.