(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.