For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.