accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.