That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.