Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.