like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Courtesy flush.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.