When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.