Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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fap

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Being fat

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.