I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Vote for the other guy

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.