Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Courtesy flush.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Sitting down in the shower

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.