Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -63

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.