Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Being fat

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.