Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Courtesy flush.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.