carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Sitting down in the shower

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.