Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.