I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.