everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I was the real Stig...

thumb_up thumb_down -99

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

thumb_up thumb_down -121

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.