whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.