- Things You Think Only You Do

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

I rehearse arguments in my head.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.