When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

I scratch and sniff.

I mean Diana Ross.

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.