Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sitting down in the shower

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.