Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Courtesy flush.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.