- Things You Think Only You Do

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I hold my breath in elevators

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

only read the short jokes on this website

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.