I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Sometimes I toot.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.