I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.