like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -29

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -37

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -39

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.