watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.