- Things You Think Only You Do

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.