How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.