I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.