Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.