Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Sometimes I wonder if every thing is real or just fantasy and I get really scared,creeped,depressed,and Anxious

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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fart

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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incognito mode on google chrome

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.