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Clarksonisms
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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head
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-20
wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...
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-50
if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror
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+7
I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.
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+1
mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.
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-9
I sleep in the nude.
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+70
Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)
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+2
When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.
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-24
masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes
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-28
misread flashlight
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+63
Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face
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-13
Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird
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-27
When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.
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-55
Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand
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-89
Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.
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-95
Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.
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-99
If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.
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+56
When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.
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-6
I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.
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-66
When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up
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+63
Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving
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-27
Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.
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-41
Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.
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-87
Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??
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-48
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.