masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Being from another country and always thinking in english.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

thumb_up thumb_down -166

Think about things I should be doing with my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -169

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +55

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.