after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.