feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.