masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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im going to rape that girl

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Dancing while hoovering

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.