When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.