"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.