Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

thumb_up thumb_down -80

during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

thumb_up thumb_down -94

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

thumb_up thumb_down +55

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

thumb_up thumb_down -133

did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.