After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.