Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I like to poo while smoking.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.