I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.