Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.