pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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shag your mom

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.