get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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shag your mom

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.