Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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shag your mom

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.