Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

thumb_up thumb_down +48

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -64

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

shag your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

thumb_up thumb_down -148

Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.