Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go outside and pee.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.