Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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I like to poo while smoking.

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.