Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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smoke marijuana

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.