Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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I start doing some of the weird things I wouldn't have thought of doing if I hadn't I read them on this website.

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.